Recovering...

This entry is more therapeutic than anything...so much has happened this week I can't even comprhend how we made it through.

On Thursday, Lily started acting a bit strange. Not eating well, being fussy. On Friday, it worsened. On Saturday we took her to a walk in clinic where she was disgnosed with thrush. So we got the drugs and kept force feeding her in order to keep her hydrated. But by Sunday she was only taking in half of what she usually would take so we took her to the ER in richmond. This time it was reccomended that we alternate Tyleonol and Motrin to help her eat and we were encouraged to see that it worked(for one feeding). At that point, I had not slept in 4 days so we went to our family doctor who perscribed me sleeping pills and told us Lily did not have thrush and was just colicy. That night she got a fever which we treated with Motrin, but in the morning she was having trouble breathing so we took her to the ER at the Childrens Hospital...things just kept happening then. They were really worried and did a barrage of tests on her, at which point the admitted her. That night it felt like my world had collapsed, the doctor called for emergency help because her airway was closing when she was lying down. Thank goodness we were there...that night I took a sleeping pill and stayed away I was too anxious to even be with her. They figured out that she has a floppy voice box and had a viral infection. THose two things together caused her to stop breathing at points. But things got better from there every day she was more alert. I started feeding her a little bit, and now we're home. But as soon as I got home, the worry started...every hitch in her breathe makes me hold mine...afraid that she's not better. Plus she's still not eating much and it seems difficult for her to do so.

I have seen God's hands with us in so many ways, through the support of my family and our friends. Through the doctors and their care, and the slow healing of Lily.

But it's really hard to keep my eyes on Him and not panic that she's not back to how she was before...please keep the prayers coming...I feel very attacked and helpless...I need help to trust.